[ a S h L e Y ] (orange_faygo_04) wrote,
[ a S h L e Y ]

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so i just leaned back to stretch and looked at my ceiling and theres a spot on it like a pop was spilled or some thing to that nature - kinda confusing.

im sick - ive been for about a week now and it really blows. Robs got my cold too which isnt making anything better bc i think we might be passing it back and fourth. fucking immune systems.

i feel like i should be at work today only im not - i think its cuz i went home early yesterday, not that i needed to but i really couldnt keep up with the flow of things anymore. its like everything was being played in slow motion and i thought i was about to pass the fuck out in the middle of the store. it sux. i have 2 days to get better and shit better pick up quick!

i have so many things i need to do and no way to get them done. i need to get to secretary of state, i need to get out to wayne before we pay his PO late again, i need to get to micheals and buy my lil fishy a new home bc i shattered his when i was trying to save his lil suicidal life, i need to transfer my prescription to some freakin store and get it filled, and i need to get to the docs before the end of the month but i dont think my insurance is going to cover the visit so im SOL and cancelled my appointment. nicci is gonna take me out to wayne tomarrow which is helpful but its like one down outta how many things? i feel bad on top of it bc shes doing me the favor which is awesome but im sure she doesnt want to be around me so its like a hassel at the same time. life sux.

Rob gets his first check this week, im half excited to see how much its gonna be. finally we wont be struggling anymore. im thinkin we're gonna try and put away as much as we can outta both our checks so we can buy me a car and that way no one is ever stranded with out a ride. which right now i dont mind to much bc its giving me the incentive to be lazy and relax hopefully getting over my cold, and to get things done around the house that ive been trying to do for the last week but putting off at the same time.

i want to mess with my scrap book but i have no tape, i need to do laundry and i have no want to do it at all, same with cleaning my bed room. i want to sleep most of all and i cant even do that.

my lil niece is coming home this week. shes been in the hospital for 3 months. shes gotten a bigger treak(?) put in and she weighs 12ibs now. last i heard she was coming home in may but i guess they changed their mind. the girls are excited. i kinda am too bc at least then i can see her. i havent seen her since xmas i think. and before that i seen her like when she was first born. ive never had it in me to go down to the hospital to see her cuz i think i would have broke down. shes so little and been thru so much, i dont know how my sister deals with it but im glad that she does. shes gonna be a year old already in march. shes already made it far longer than most doctors said she would & she still has tons of years to go.

last weekend me and my mom helped mandi move to ecorse. she left bill and he had no idea about it which made it sort of nerve racking bc we were at the house packing and we had no idea where he was or when he was coming back. nonetheless we got everything outta there with out him even knowing. it think she said he called at like 1am and was like what the fuck is going on. she stuck with it that she wasnt gonna let him know where she was livng and that she wasnt going to divorce him just yet but she was gonna do it apart for awhile so they could both get their shit together. i was proud of her. got her own house and everything. she was really sticking to her words. then easter rolled around and my mom called me and said guess who mandis having easter dinner with at her new house - bill. fucking moron. she just doesnt see reality for what its worth. when is she ever gonna learn?

im glad im not my sisters, i love them to death and i love my neices and nephews too, but i would never want to be in their situations, worrying about when the next time im gonna get my ass beat, or whether im gonna have the money to pay my rent, or having money stolen from me. i could live life that way, and i know they say their still with the guys bc of this kids but i think thats a crock of shit. none of us have ever grown up with our fathers in our lives. the two of them are lucky enough to know their fathers but know that they dont mean shit to their dads. same with me only i dont know him. so to sit back and say that they cant survive without the kids dad is insane. they'd both be better off and im sure a hell of alot happier. im glad that i found someone that makes me happy and doesnt make me worry about my safty, that supports what i do and doesnt start a fight about it, that supports my job and doesnt live off of me, and most of all that sees me for me and accepts me. thats why i love him. what isnt there to love about it?

HmMm im actually starting to feel a bit tired tho so i think ima put a DVD in and lay down.

update sometime soon.
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